Watch Closely!

Even the Pirates were bewildered by the wafer-thin plot.

I caught Pirates of the Caribbean : At Worlds End with the drama people yesterday. Yes the five (5) of us. Its kinda sad.

Ok, I’ve got to admit this, this is the 1st Pirates movie I’ve seen at the theatre (the first 2 I’ve watch through *ahem* means.), and was almost led to believe I was watching a lame Arthouse movie.

What?

This is Pirates of the Caribbean we’re TALKING ABOUT! Wheres the swashbuckling, heave-ho action? The smell of adventure?

The stench of rotting, decaying algae more like.

If it were akin to food, it’ll be like the sea weed you feed to your pet turtle Clarence. Flimsy and ‘BLEAH! What was that!’

First off, we don’t see droolicious Johnny Depp until like 30 mins into the film, and when we do, we’re were almost blinded , literally. Bloom and Knightly don’t prove as interesting characters as the eccentric Jack Sparrow, who walks around everywhere almost in drunken stupor.

Even Mr Chow Yun Fatt’s Sao Feng was more or a less an ancient oriental stereotype that Ang Mohs used to think of us, thank God there weren’t any blacks eating fried chicken or watermelons, else they’ll really be a mutiny!

Sao Feng lacked depth as a character was as shallow as those cartoons that depicted asians with really small slit eyes that you could blind fold them with dental floss.

Geoffery Rush did a commendable job as Barbossa, but I really felt the character outlived his due date, seeing him sail on the same boat as Jack all chummy chummy was really picking at my common sense.

The plot was too convulated, too many doubl-crosses! My advice to you if you want to watch it please bring a notebook to the movie, cause hell knows whats happening with the characters! Despite the dreamworld calling me to fall asleep in the theatre, I forced myself to stay awake hoping the movie would surprise me with something interesting.

Nadah. Zilch. Kosong.

Cal fell asleep mid show, while I slumped forward onto the seat’s headrest in front of me as I watched the tale of the pirates spiral out of common cow sense.

The only juicy part came in the last half hour of the show, where a titanic battle between the Black Pearl and the Flying Dutchman was only marred by the marriage of Will Turner and Eliz Swann during a swordfight. Oh, how convenient for Captain Barbossa to be around to precede the wedding vows? Scenes like this honestly throws ridiculousness out the window and give a new meaning to it. I was hoping that the ship collided with a iceberg and they both drown a frosty death!

Oh, and one last thing, how is it that people in Singapore ALL SPEAK CANTONESE?

MO KAO CHOR AH LEI?

Jaimes sees a part of the Kraken everytime he orders Takopachi.